lance: rinse and repeat
by daisiesinajar
Summary: Pretty self-explanatory, I'd think. The trajectory of Lance and Bobbi's relationship, from Isabelle Hartley's perspective (mostly).
1. part one

**lance: rinse and repeat**

It takes Bobbi thirty seconds before her back stiffens in realisation that she's not alone in the room. Thirty whole seconds slower than her average of zero. Isabelle counted.

"Mack was right," Isabelle observes. Bobbi pivots round, startled, and rolls her eyes in greeting when she realises it's only her friend. Her tactical suit is clutched in her hands, soiled and torn in places from the previous mission. "Right about what?"

Isabelle doesn't miss the way Bobbi's lips are turned up at the corners, or the light in her eyes that hadn't been there for a long time- too long. She doesn't call Bobbi out on her slower reaction time; in this case, slower was good. Slower meant she was distracted, and distracted was, or could possibly be, a good thing. She leans against the doorway casually, arms folded. "He said you fell for the mark."

Bobbi scoffs and turns back to continue unpacking before she even finishes her sentence. "Did he?" She doesn't say more, but, Isabelle notes, she doesn't deny it either. "I think he's right," she says, keeping her tone carefully neutral. Bobbi laughs at that, but still doesn't respond. Not really. She doesn't know whether to be excited or worried. The last time Bobbi had behaved this way…

"I think you should be careful," she tries again, and this time, Bobbi finally responds. She turns around slowly, twisting the straps of the empty duffel in her hands, her face carefully neutral. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean." She gives the blonde a knowing look, but she blinks and dismisses it. "This is nothing Iz. I'm fine, promise. I haven't fallen for a damn _mark,_ " she rolls her eyes, "You know me better than that."

Isabelle stares at her, unfazed. "The last time I told you to be careful, it was with Barton. I think this one might be worse than-"

"He's nothing like Clint!" Bobbi blurts in a half-yell, and to her horror, her eyes sting and water. She blinks them away, embarrassed at her outburst. She wills her voice to remain steady and feigns a lighthearted tone. "Clint understood me, it was like he could read my mind." Her lip trembles, the pain of his rejection and betrayal fresh after all this time, and she's glad she'd turned away to keep her duffel. She takes a quiet, shaky breath before continuing, opting to feign annoyance.

"Hunter is nothing like Clint. Hunter- He drives me absolutely insane Iz, we argue over every single thing. I wish I were joking, but literally _every single thing_!" Her blood starts to boil at the memory. "He doesn't even like the way I say his damned _name._ It's like he's speaking a completely different language, which he might as well be, his accent is so thick, half the time I don't even know what he's saying, and then we argue all over again. He's the _worst_ mark I've ever had the misfortune of meeting Iz, I don't remember ever being so stressed on a simple extraction mission before."

She slams the wardrobe and turns to face her friend, about to continue ranting, but Isabelle's expression reminds her of what they were talking about in the first place, and the wind goes out of her sails. Bobbi crosses her arms in front of her, absentmindedly rubbing her hands up and down her arms. "It's not gonna happen Iz," she meets her eyes sadly and turns away, shoulders hunched and curled in on herself, "Not after Clint. Not after what he did."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Isabelle mutters under her breath.

-o-

"He brought me breakfast in bed. _Breakfast in bed_! Who does that?!"

Isabelle watches as Bobbi paces a path into her floor and eats her own breakfast sedately. From what she'd heard over the past few weeks, Bobbi was far from done ranting. "What did he bring you?" she asks mildly.

"Pancakes! He _made_ pancakes! From scratch! God Iz, who does that?! I thought these things only happened in movies-"

"What kind of movies?" she interrupts Bobbi mid-rant, and the younger woman pauses and blinks at her, confused. "What?"

Isabelle rolls her eyes mentally. This was moving slower than she thought it would, she never pegged Bobbi for those daft, oblivious types- she was one of SHIELD's top spies, for goodness' sake- but obviously Hunter was an expert at messing with her mind. "You said these things only happen in movies. What movies do you mean?"

Bobbi's brow furrows, trying to work out what Isabelle was getting at. "Those rom-com types," she replies, frowning, "The guy does a whole bunch of sweet things to get in the girl's pants, yada yada." She waves her hand dismissively. "What of it?"

Isabelle swallows her mouthful, wondering how plain she'd have to make things before Bobbi understood. "Well, he's already gotten into your pants," she says calmly, ignoring Bobbi's sputtering and spooning another mouthful of cereal into her mouth. "So that can't be it. Try again."

A faint pink tinge colours Bobbi's cheeks. "I..." Isabelle raises a brow. "Did you think we wouldn't know? We're SHIELD, Bob, and you two aren't exactly subtle. Especially Hunter. I believe he asked Idaho for condoms the other day," she says, tapping her spoon against her mouth in thought. "So, think!" She doesn't bother to hide her eye-rolling this time. "What does he want?"

Bobbi rolls her eyes right back and flops into the chair in front of her friend. "I don't know! If you're trying to say he's in love with me-" Isabelle raises her brows and Bobbi stops mid-sentence. "Oh no," she straightens up. "No no no, that can't be it, that's not- That's ridiculous Iz, even for you- We can't stand each other-" Isabelle stares pointedly at her and she breaks off again, dropping her gaze to the table.

Isabelle swallows a chortle; she can practically see the cogs turning in Bobbi's head as she stares unseeingly at a knot in the wood, trying to come to terms with what was apparently a revelation and figuring out her own feelings. She had hidden away her emotions for so long after Barton, Isabelle supposes all this was practically new to her. That, and Barton never drove Bobbi quite this crazy or made her this frustrated- _Which makes him more dangerous,_ she thinks, making a mental note to really check the man out and make him swear not to hurt the woman she'd come to think of as a younger sister, on pain of death or mutilation.

Bobbi glances up at Isabelle, terror and disbelief and excitement written in equal parts across her face, then gets up and walks out in a daze.

-o-

Bobbi storms into the apartment, slamming the door so forcefully that something falls to the ground with a crash. Isabelle looks up from her sudoku at the sound, sighs, and looks back down. It was definitely because of Hunter again, she didn't even have to ask at this point- _nothing_ got Bobbi as worked up as that Brit.

She waits until she hears glasses clinking in the kitchen, then walks over to the foyer and picks up the broken photo frame, careful to avoid the shards of glass. It's a picture of Hunter and Bobbi; Bobbi's head was thrown back in laughter, hair glinting in the evening sun, and Hunter was staring at her like... Like she was the only person in the world that mattered. Cheesy, but there was no other way to describe it. She'd asked Bobbi once, about what Hunter had said or done that made her laugh like she didn't have a care in the world- she'd never seen the agent let go of her inhibitions as much as she had had over the past few months. Bobbi had stared at her for a long moment, unable to recall, only to quietly mutter that she couldn't remember because it happened so frequently. Then she'd turned away, with wide eyes and a slight frown, as if she hadn't realised and couldn't believe she'd been so happy, with him.

Isabelle sighs, setting the broken frame back in its place on the shelf and clearing the shards, ignoring Bobbi's somewhat subdued call from the kitchen to "leave it alone Iz, I'll clear it later." She casts another glance at the photo as she straightens up. This wasn't the first time the frame had been broken, far from it. But every time, she'd come home to find that Bobbi had replaced the frame.

She migrates to the kitchen with her sudoku, keeping an eye on Bobbi, who's standing over the sink in silence with her back turned to Isabelle, a mug in her hands. She doesn't press Bobbi for details- they'd been here enough times- just waits patiently at the kitchen table working on her puzzle. It's a good half hour before she finally gets through the puzzle, but Bobbi hasn't moved an inch. She sets the book down, worry creasing her brow.

"Bobbi?"

The blonde startles, dropping her mug into the sink with a loud thud. Isabelle's frown deepens; Bobbi's cool composure under any and all circumstances was the reason the interns called her the 'Ice Queen' behind her back- not that she was unaware of this nickname. This loss of control was unusual for Bobbi, even when it came to Hunter. Isabelle comes round to lean against the kitchen table, watching as Bobbi picks up the mug and rinses it out mechanically. "Bob," she repeats, and the blonde turns around slowly.

Isabelle sighs; Bobbi's face was drawn, eyes red with tears she was struggling to hold back, lip trembling violently. She inhales a shaky breath, turning her eyes toward the ceiling before meeting Isabelle's gaze, and despite herself, the first tears slip down her cheeks. She tries for a nonchalant shrug and a weak smile, but her voice cracks when she tries to speak, and the dam breaks.

"Oh Bob." Isabelle holds her as she blubbers unintelligibly against her shoulder, trying to hold back sobs, hand still fisted tight around the mug as if it allowed her some semblance of control. Here and there she manages to catch snippets; "lies" and "trust" and "it's my _job_ " and "it's who I am", and "I'm _trying_ , but it's not enough- it's never enough" and "if he can't accept it then maybe it's a good thing we split up".

It takes longer than Isabelle expects for Bobbi to calm down. Not long, but still longer than she'd expect from one of SHIELD's top agents. She hands another tissue matter-of-factly to a sniffling Bobbi, and wonders if the younger woman realises that she's still clutching the empty mug- a mug that Isabelle recognises as a gift from Hunter from the rude print on the front. She watches as Bobbi turns the mug over and over in her hands absentmindedly, and finally breaks the silence.

"You know this isn't over, right?"

-o-

Bobbi glances over at Isabelle trying to decide which cereal to eat. She sticks a spoon in her own bowl, leaning against the counter, and takes a mouthful, munching slowly to calm her nerves. "Hunter proposed again last night," she says. She can't face Isabelle's gaze, so she concentrates on the colourful puffs floating in her bowl of milk, suddenly thankful she has something to hold.

Isabelle studies her for a moment. "You said no."

"Yes."

She sighs, and Bobbi pushes herself off the counter to sit at the table. Isabelle joins her seconds later, her bowl empty. "Bob," she sighs again, "Why?"

The blonde gives a half-shrug and pokes around the bowl with her spoon. "You've been together for three years and he's proposed twice. How many times must the poor man beg to marry you before you say yes?"

"You know what happened the last time I got married Iz," she says darkly, stabbing at a happy pink loop and submerging it under milk. "That bastard* raped me, and when I killed him, Clint blamed _me._ He _left me._ " Her voice breaks and she shakes her head. "How do I know that won't happen again?"

Isabelle mimics her actions and plants her elbows on the table, leaning forward. "You told me yourself that Hunter isn't Clint, do you remember? Clint left because you killed someone, but Hunter… I think Hunter would kill him for you, whether you wanted it or not," she says seriously, and is surprised when she realises she genuinely believes what she's said. "Right after he beats himself up for not protecting you," she adds, trying to lighten the mood.

Bobbi cracks a small smile and quiets for a moment, and Isabelle knows that she knows that it's the truth, too. She sighs when Bobbi raises her head to speak. "We've broken up more times than I can count Iz." Oh, she knew Bobbi was going to say that, it was her standard reason for turning Hunter down. Honestly, she was torn between pity for the man and admiration for his dogged tenacity. "And you've gotten back together one time more than you've broken up," she counters. "Fall down seven times, stand up eight, right?"

Bobbi glances away, "I got married in nine days** the last time, I want to be absolutely _sure_ this time. I don't want to make another mistake," she says softly, and Isabelle sighs again. She'd given up trying to tell Bobbi that there was no such thing as being a hundred percent sure, that there was always risk involved like any other decision, but she doesn't waste her breath. She hadn't expected her persuasion this time to work, but it would have been nice. "If you aren't sure, maybe it's a good thing you said no." She gets up to leave. "But Bobbi, he's not going to wait around forever."

-o-

She shoves her clothes in a duffel and storms out of the apartment. It's a long, lonely drive to the graveyard, and it's empty today. Like most other days. She busies herself pulling up the weeds by Izzy's grave, angrily brushing away tears with the back of her hand every few minutes. Finally, she sits and leans back against the side of the tombstone, hands scratched and eyes red and leaking. She sniffs noisily, eyes turned toward the sky.

"It's over, Iz. For good, this time. I…" She swallows past the lump in her throat. "He said if I was so unhappy we should just get a divorce, and I… I-" The sob catches in a gasp in her throat. "He sent the papers back to the lawyer today a-and… It's done, Iz. It's over." There's no one around, but out of habit, she presses a fist to her mouth to muffle a sob. "I wish y-you were here," she hiccups. "You'd know how to f-fix this."

* * *

 **A/n:**

Title prompt from R :)

*comic canon: Phantom Rider/ Lincoln Slade slept with Bobbi while she was under the effects of a love potion he had given her, ie she was raped, basically. When she finally shook off the effects of the potion, she allowed Slade to fall to his death off a cliff. It broke the Avengers' code of 'no killing' (even though I personally think it was justified), and not being able to accept this violation, Clint left her.

**also comic canon: Bobbi and Clint got married within 9 days of knowing each other.

(correct me if I'm wrong please!)

/edit 4 July 2015: Sanctuaria pointed out that Isabelle Hartley wasn't actually dead when Hunter and Bobbi got divorced. THANK YOU!

For clarification: Izzy was presumed dead at the time. Whether Bobbi believed that to be true, or knew that it was a cover but had no other way of contacting her, is up to you. :)


	2. part two

**part two.**

"So I heard you're looking for me," drawls a voice, and Isabelle spins round in surprise. An accent- she hadn't been expecting an accent. _Or any of...this_ , she thinks, _No wonder I didn't notice him_. She gives the man a quick onceover, and something must have shown on her face, because he straightens up from his position against the railing and scowls darkly, shoulders thrown back slightly and chin tilted up in a silent challenge. Minuscule movements, no one else would have noticed (except maybe Bobbi); Isabelle doubts he was aware of them at all.

"Yes," she replies, keeping her expression and voice carefully neutral.

Lance Hunter's scowl becomes even more impressive at her calm, monosyllabic reply, and Isabelle thinks his glare could give Bobbi's a run for her money, but suddenly the creases unfold to reveal a pleasant, albeit scruffy face. "Bet I'm not what you were expecting love," he shrugs, letting his shoulders relax into a casual slouch, "But figure I should take that as a compliment." He shrugs again, "Her exes were idiots to let her go." He extends a hand, holding her gaze with clear eyes, brown and sharp and honest.

Isabelle returns his handshake, and his face stretches into a smile.

-o-

Isabelle holds back a frown as Hunter props his feet up on the table and leans back, folding his arms across what seems to be a well-muscled abdomen. "So," he says, shrugging, "Why did you want to meet me? Might as well tell me what you think of me too, since it seems you're Bob's surrogate protective elder brother."

She appreciates his candour; at least he didn't beat about the bush and waste both their time. She smiles politely and nods, sitting up straighter in her chair and clearing her throat, hoping Hunter would follow her cue and put his feet back on the ground. No such luck.

She'd contemplated a number of ways to begin the conversation on her way here, to ease into the if-you-hurt-her-I-will-kill-you speech, but instead she blurts out something else entirely: "Bobbi likes you."

She immediately regrets the lack of mastery over her tongue for two reasons: first, Bobbi was going to kill her for saying that, after she'd vehemently denied the statement; and two, a lazy, smug, self-assured grin stretches across Hunter's face at her words.

"I know," he drawls, the smirk on his face like a cat who'd just gotten into and finished all the cream. Isabelle's hand twitches on her lap, itching to slap it off him.

She considers him carefully, and he meets her gaze laughingly, but after some time his face straightens and eyes grow thoughtful and serious. "I won't hurt her," he says earnestly, at the same time that she warns, "If you hurt her, I will hunt you down."

They blink at each other, and she's more surprised than he is.

Hunter drops his eyes first, laughing through his nose and straightening up to place his feet on the ground- _Thank goodness,_ Isabelle thinks. "Admit it," he grins, "Your opinion of me just went up."

Isabelle rolls her eyes. "And it just went back down because you said that," she says, pausing for a moment before continuing cautiously. "It will be an uphill task to keep that promise. Bobbi is… An easy person to hurt."

He frowns, nodding, and she can see the question in his eyes.

"I don't mean she's hypersensitive," she clarifies quickly. "Bobbi's like a…" Isabelle hesitates, wondering how to best explain. "Bobbi puts up defenses very quickly. Job hazard," she shrugs, "We all do it. But she does it more quickly and more extensively than most, and it takes time for her to let her guard down. You can imagine our surprise when we learnt about you."

Hunter gives a small laugh at that. "So she puts up shields- pun not intended." He shrugs. "I get that. But I don't understand what you mean, exactly…"

Isabelle leans back in her chair, sighing. "There's no explaining it. Bob's been through a lot. Just try not to hurt her, that's all I ask."

-o-

"Tell me about yourself."

Hunter groans. "What is this, the bloody inquisition?" All the same, he scrunches up his face to think of an answer. "I-"

"Something other people won't know, not the stuff I can find on the SHIELD database," Isabelle interjects, anticipating a laundry list of his family background (absent dad, two sisters, middle child) and occupation (Special Forces- he must have _some_ skills that she couldn't discern from his appearance).

He scowls. "Be more specific then, I don't know what you want. Bloody women, always thinking we blokes can read minds," he mutters the last part under his breath, and Isabelle rolls her eyes. She's starting to understand Bobbi's frustration with the man; his demeanour made people want to roll their eyes out of their sockets, but he somehow managed to endear himself to them at the same time.

She casts around in her mind for a suitable question and finally fixes her gaze on him, carefully noting his body language. "You're from the SAS. Have you killed people?" she asks bluntly. No point beating about the bush, and he seemed to appreciate straightforward talk- a point in his favour, not that she would tell him.

Hunter's body tenses immediately, then he slumps in his chair and looks away. "Yes. Ask something else," he grits out, already anticipating her next question.

She ignores him. "Tell me about your first." If glares could kill, she thinks she might be dead. She foresees plenty of glaring matches between him and Bobbi, and she and Mack would have a hard time choosing who to bet on- Bobbi's glares were known to frighten entire teams into silent submission. "Go on," she says when he doesn't reply.

He gives an exaggerated sigh and sits up in his chair, eyes fixated on a tiny ant crawling on the table. "His name was Ronald. Ronald Whittaker," he intones, and swallows several times. Isabelle nods, silently requesting him to continue. "He uh. It was one of my first few missions with the SAS. He was trying to sell highly sensitive intel to Russia, military info, yeah?" He glances up quickly to make sure she understood, then back down. "Treason. Sounds like something out of a movie." His fists clench and unclench. "We caught him, he turned a gun on us. Shot my friend- Will." His voice breaks on the name. "The only thing running through my head was, 'Bloody hell, how'm I gonna explain this to his fiancée?'" He shakes his head. "He'd just gotten engaged what, the week before. I panicked and emptied my mag at the guy." He swallows and falls silent.

Isabelle watches the way his shoulders tense; it still affected him, after so many years. "It was justified- you made the right call."

Hunter looks up at that, an incredulous look on his face. "You think I'm torn up about _him_?" he scoffs. "That arsehole got what he deserved. It's the faces of his wife and kids when they came to our offices. They had no idea what was going on," his gaze drops to the table again, "Scared out of their wits. She'd absolutely no clue what her husband had been doing. Was horrified, couldn't even process it." He raises his head, eyes haunted with the memory. "That's when I decided that secrets are a dealbreaker." He shrugs, "Sure, keep that one or two personal ones, the time you snogged your second cousin or whatever, but," he shakes his head, "nothing important. No double lives."

Isabelle nods, a frown sitting deep in the crease beneath her brows. They sit in silence for a long time, each lost in their own thoughts, and she finally gets to her feet. "Hunter," she says, and he jerks out of his recollection and looks at her questioningly, making to stand as well.

"You know who Bobbi is, you know what she does… That's not going to change. That means secrets Hunter," she says sadly, not missing the realisation and conflict in his eyes as he sinks back down into his chair. "That means lots of secrets."

-o-

Sometimes, she regrets getting involved in their relationship at all. This, Isabelle sighs as she lets Lance and his six friends into her apartment, is one of those times.

"Where've you _been_ ," he whines, kicking up his feet onto her coffee table, popping a cap off one of his friends and taking a gulp. "The beer's gone flat, the rest are warm. _Warm,_ Iz. Is there anything worse than warm beer!"

She glares at him and points at his feet, and he removes them from the table with a dramatic sigh. She sinks into the couch beside him, reaching over for a beer. "What is it? You didn't wait outside my door for two hours to tell me beer tastes like piss when it's warm," she says, making a face as she sets her own bottle on the table.

Lance hesitates, scratching off the label on the bottle absentmindedly. "I… I came to ask you something."

Isabelle frowns and looks him over. His eyes are focused on a random spot unseeingly, he's bouncing his knees on her carpet to some fast rhythm only he can hear, and the beer label from his bottle is in pieces on her carpet. She makes a mental note to have him clear up after himself later on. Her eyes glance over his legs once more, and this time she notices a bulge in the pocket of his jeans. A very cubical sort of bulge.

"Hunter... Is that what I think it is?"

He looks up at her, eyes bright and slightly wild with panic. "I… I don't know what to do, Iz," he says desperately. "I've thought about it for weeks, _months_ even; I know it doesn't make sense, and," he laughs slightly hysterically, "and as of this moment she's not even speaking to me because we argued last night." He wrings his hands, and a few more shreds of the label fall to the ground. "She's never going to say yes, she hates me."

Isabelle resists the urge to roll her eyes at his exaggeration. "And loves you in equal measure, we both know that. Take it out," she nudges him with her knee. "I want to see."

He reaches into his pocket slowly, pulling out a small box covered in faded blue velvet and popping it open. Resting on a black velvet cushion are pearl earrings embedded with smaller sapphire gems in a vintage setting. Elegant, yet simple. She raises her brows at him, impressed; she hadn't expected him to have such good taste. He notices her look and clarifies, "My nan's pearl earrings. She gave them to me the other day, with the imperative that I give her grandchildren in a year." He laughs nervously, and beckons her to take another look at the box's contents. Isabelle leans in, and notices a pair of plain silver bands tucked behind the earrings that she'd missed earlier, one nestled within the other. "I figured she wouldn't want anything flashy," he explains, knee bouncing again.

She looks to Lance for permission before lifting the rings and peering on the inside. Engraved in minuscule writing on the inner walls of both rings is _Don't die out there._ Isabelle smiles, about to return them to the box, when she turns the rings and notices a slight difference in the engraving. Lance's ring read 'jackass', and Bobbi's read 'hell beast'.

She hands them to him and rolls her eyes. "Yeah Hunter, way to capture a woman's heart. Seal your marriage with a token permanently engraved with an insult."

"What! She _knows_ I mean that in the best way possible!" he says defensively, carefully snapping the box shut. He looks up at Isabelle after a moment. "You think she'll say yes?" he asks, not quite able to hide the quiver of nervousness and worry in his voice.

Isabelle picks up her piss warm beer to stall for time, picking her words carefully. "I think she'll want to."

-o-

Someone tugs at her elbow and pulls her into a side alley, and a spike of adrenaline rushes through her before instinct takes over: with practiced moves, Isabelle grabs the arm and slams her attacker against the brick wall, his arm twisted awkwardly behind him.

"Uncle! Uncle!" a familiar voice chokes, and she releases him immediately, annoyance lacing her voice.

"Hunter, what the hell?! I told you the first three time not to do that, do you ever listen?" She glares at him rolling and rubbing his shoulder, wrenching up the bag that had fallen onto the ground.

"You wouldn't pick up your phone or answer your door!"

"My phone is dead and I was shopping for groceries, idiot," she snaps in reply, and finally takes a proper look at him. The man looked worse than usual, his eyes red and bloodshot, as if he hasn't slept for days, and he had several more days of scruff than she's used to seeing. Her shoulders straighten with a familiar tension. "Hunter, stop pacing- what's wrong?"

"It's been a week Iz." He rubs his pace and stops his pacing long enough to throw her a desperate look. "One _week_. She said she was going to visit a sick aunt and would only be a few days, and, _oh_." His expression shifts from worry to grim realisation in a heartbeat. _Ah, crud._

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice-" Hunter shakes his head and shrugs off her arm and comfort and explanation.

"She could've just told me, Iz. Instead she left me back here to worry about whether she's dead or alive-" He shakes his head again and pinches the bridge of his nose, jaw clenched tightly. "She could've just told me."

Isabelle sighs as she looks after him striding off into the distance. "That's the thing, Hunter. She couldn't."

-o-

"I want a divorce."

The first thing Isabelle thinks, after _it's too early for this shit_ , is that she needs a better lock. Or another address. Groaning, she pulls her pillow over her head, but Hunter's complaints reach her anyway. Not that it matters, she's gotten pretty good at tuning him out and still responding appropriately. This time though, she'd just gotten home from a mission at four in the morning with a killer headache, and she _really_ doesn't want to hear any more of this.

"What is it now?" she rasps.

"We're getting a divorce." Hunter plonks himself down on her bed, lying across her legs over the duvet. Evidently she had been too friendly with him in the past- a mistake she fully intends to correct but suspects is too late.

"Uh huh. And what's the reason now? You forgot to refill the toilet paper, she yelled at you, and you couldn't take it?" She tosses onto her side, but it's no use, she's awake now. Damn the man. Growling, she kicks him off her and stalks toward the kitchen for coffee.

"No," he says with the hurt air of someone who's been unfairly accused. "She-" He shakes his head and sits at the counter, head in hands.

"What happened?" she asks in resignation, pushing a steaming cup toward him.

He scowls, throwing her a look. "I'm on the verge of divorce, you'd think I'd receive a little more sympathy than this."

"You would, if you weren't on the verge of divorce every few weeks," she replies airily, stirring a sugar into her drink.

That impressive scowl deepens, but he finally gets down to the story. "Yesterday I found a picture of her with a man. Tall, built, his arm slung across her shoulders like they'd known each other a long time." He rubs his face tiredly, taking a sip of the coffee and pulling a face, muttering about 'Americans and their coffee'.

"Picture was hidden in a closet. With her socks, of all things." He cups his hand round the mug, staring unseeingly at her sink. "Took three hours and the neighbours bangin' on our door before she'd tell me who he was." He looks up at her, brown eyes troubled. "Did you know she had a brother?"

Isabelle lowers her gaze a fraction, and Hunter scoffs. "'Course you would. Best friend and all that, doesn't matter that I'm her bloody husband." He practically spits the last word. "She can't even be honest with me about her family. _I'm_ supposed to be her family, Iz," he glares at her as if this was her fault.

"I told you right at the start to be patient with her." Isabelle shrugs and gets up to make him a cup of tea. Really, she spoilt the man too much; it was her own fault if he felt he could waltz into her apartment at ungodly hours of the morning.

Setting it down in front of him, she leans back and crosses her arms. "What were you doing fiddling around with her socks?"

Her question takes him aback; he blinks and stares at her for a moment. "She told me to get them. That's not the issue here Iz, I-"

"She was going to tell you about her family. She _wanted_ you to find the picture. I bet she was very specific about which box she wanted you to find?"

Hunter nods, dumbfounded, and Isabelle pinches the bridge of her nose. God, this man was daft. "And then you went and yelled at her for opening up, so she clammed back up. Can you blame her, Hunter?"

He gapes like a fish out of water. "Well- if she wanted to tell me she could've just bloody said so couldn't she! What's with all the secrecy!" His wild gesturing nearly upsets his cup of tea, and he shoots her an apologetic look.

"It's how Bobbi is, you know that."

It doesn't take long after that before the Brit is muttering about how he's an idiot and has to go and placate his hellbeast- the term uttered with affection instead of venom, this time.

"Thanks Iz. Wouldn't know what to do without you," he says earnestly, before leaving to buy his wife apology flowers.

"Anytime."

Ah, this one was her fault. Maybe she should stop encouraging 24/7 consults.

-o-

 _How much is too much_ , Isabelle wonders, tossing a curl of blonde hair over her shoulder and laughing at the joke the man on her arm had made. Her eyes remain surreptitiously on the man a few paces ahead of her, his lean build staggering onto a stoop of a random house.

"Damn drunks," her date mutters into her ear, and she forces a laugh as they walk past him quickly.

She'd sworn to Coulson that she wouldn't break cover and reveal the state of her undead-ness unless someone was in danger- _mortal_ danger. Did this count? Watching her friends' relationship crumble to pieces, watching them bury themselves in drink and work respectively- a part of them was dying, surely that counted?

She doesn't need Coulson there to tell her it doesn't. _They need to handle their problems on their own, Agent Hartley._

She'd asked once, and never bothered to again. But she couldn't just stand by and watch them sink into… Well, this.

Under the pretense of flicking dirt from the man's shoulder, Isabelle sneaks a glance behind her. Lance was clutching a bottle with one hand and his stomach with the other. She knows his routine, he would throw up after he finished this bottle- his seventh, she thinks.

Isabelle turns back and continues walking, away from her friend. She was technically already disobeying orders; dressing as a blonde escort surely wasn't what Coulson meant when he ordered her to 'stay low', but she was never one for strict adherence anyway. If Lance knew what she was doing, he would chuckle and drink to _loose interpretations Iz, if he really wanted you to stay hidden he'd have ordered you to Siberia._

It's been much harder to see Bobbi, to figure out how she's coping. But for the one time she had spied on her at her supposed grave, shoulders heaving with sobs, she has no idea how her old friend is dealing with the divorce.

Still, her immediate worry is Lance- he was more likely to drink himself into an early grave than Bobbi was to get herself killed on mission- she's too much of a soldier to do that.

She just hopes that she will be there to kick away that last bottle from him, and pull her away from a bullet, if need be- and that it won't be too late.

 _If I wasn't supposed to be rotting in a grave, I'd kick both you hard-headed asses together until you made up._

… _Please make up_.

* * *

 **A/n:**

Checked the dates- I started writing this in July. And wrote the last bit there today. *covers face in shame*

SO sorry for the lack of updates/ fics in general. Will try to post more to tide us over this mid-season break! :)


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